Johnny and his dad

Johnny’s dad: Hey Johnny why you do not go out and play

Johnny is busy on his computer, doesn’t care to look at his dad

Johnny: I am playing dad

Johnny’s dad: I don’t mean those stupid games, I mean go and play with your real friends on a real ground

Johnny: I won’t find them there

Johnny’s dad: Why?

Johnny: They are already playing with me here

Johnny’s dad: Oh God what the world has come to

Johnny: Dad aren’t you proud I am the strongest player in the team

Johnny’s dad (frowns): You certainly do not look like, Hey why do you not have something to eat

Johnny: I had just now an online sandwich and a full glass of milk at the virutalbreakfast.com

Johnny’s dad: But you do not like milk at home

Johnny: Yes dad, this milk gives me 200 extra bonus points so I can kick ass

Johnny’s dad: What about your school

Johnny: Yes dad I will be there in the next 15 minutes

Johnny’s dad: But your school is a good half an hour away

Johnny: Dad my school is also online

Johnny’s dad: And what about your teachers

Johnny: Yes they are online too. Mr Jacob, our chemistry teacher, is visiting a ladies club now and Mrs Allyson, our gym instructor, is sharing her pictures, I must say she is something

Johnny’s dad: Oh no, what are you doing – Do not do that, she is your teacher Johnny

Johnny: Yes dad but I am not visiting her profile as me, I am visiting her profile as you

Johnny’s dad: You naughty little beast

Johnny: No dad she actually wants more of you

Johnny’s dad: (Gulps a swallow): Come move, let me see too (sits next to Johnny)

Johnny’s dad: Do you have a girlfriend

Johnny: Yes dad she is the latest in town

Johnny’s dad: I am proud to hear that, where does she live

Johnny: She lives in the GoGetaGirlfriend.com

Johnny’s dad: Hey those websites you should not visit

Johnny (still focused on his computer): Do not worry dad I do not use your credit card. I still am on my teacher’s credit card. He visits so many sites that I can always sneak in his account and he would never notice

Johnny’s dad: Oh good, so now you are a thief too

Johnny: No dad, its call hacking, thief’s too lame

Johnny’s dad: I want you to get out of your computer world and go enjoy a fulfilling life like I did and make some real friends like I had

Johnny: DAD!!!!!!!!

Johnny’s dad: NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Johnny leaves the room

Johnny’s dad logs in to the computer and you hear “Welcome Johnny’s dad, I had been waiting for you. Mrs Allyson wants more of you”

Love

To love and be loved is everything

To be loved is something

To love is nothing

Brian Moynihan comes with the age old remedy to spruce up operations

The embattled Bank of America (NYSE:BAC) CEO Brian Moynihan is using a  axe  to his expansive monetary business with a strategy declared the other day to reduce 30,000 jobs as the financial institution employer battles to get his financial house in order. The total reductions, that sum to around 10 pct of the behemoth Charlotte, NC banking institutions head count, is part of a larger strategy carried out by Moynihan -- named Project New BAC -- to reduce around $5 billion in expenses.

We do not have to be the largest organization out there - Moynihan informed the market at a Barclays Capital investor's conference, verifying a broadly expected move. We have to be the best. The Bank of America chief is demanding to take apart the financial institution designed by previous CEO Ken Lewis by means of the shotgun purchases of Merrill Lynch and Countrywide Financial in the course of the economic situation.

The lay offs arrive right after couple of traumatic weeks, as worries regarding the bank's mortgage debts have lead in the company hemorrhaging almost 48 pct of its net worth this year -- about 30 percent of it came from last 30 days alone. The work reductions are anticipated to be carried out over the following two years and may happen mainly at its customer banking divisions.

Moynihan also is not ruling out the likelihood that its non performing "Countrywide Financial" company might be put into bankruptcy to assist the organization restructure -- a strategy that a few experts have advised is the finest way with regard to Bank of America  to handle the pile of risky mortgages it was passed down from the mortgage factory. There are choices around all these things that we proceed to work on, he said answering to one question.

Moynihan has recently been working out on a number of methods to secure Bank of America s balance sheet, some of which includes selling 50 percent of its approximately 11 pct position in oriental loan company China Construction Bank for $8.5 billion. Unexpectedly, Moynihans jobs-reducing discussion arrived as President Obama declared a $447 billion jobs-generation bill.

Bank of America is currently trading at 7.05 dollars. It operates in Financial Sector and Money Center Banks industry. For the 2nd quarter ending July 2011, it has a net profit margin of -66%, an Operating margin on -97%. Its total employees stand at around 287, 839 making it one of the biggest organizations in the US.

Running for the future

Did you ever consider why people say we spend one third of our life sleeping?
It’s simple... In 24 hours we spend 8 hours sleeping so in a day we spend 1/3 rd of our time sleeping. So by corollary we understand that 1/3 rd of the life is spent in sleeping.

On the other note and a very different one. We all live in a life of future... by this I mean we always live in a world of I will do this; i will do that and what I need to do for the future. Even great philosophers have said the same thing. Dream, dream big... I do not understand why we need to live in the future. If we strive not to live in the past we need not to strive to live in the future too. May be it’s just a thought. Evolution may mean living in the future, but isn’t it taking our precious present away from us.

Obesity is attractive

It is said that everything in the universe attracts the other body by a force directly proportional to the product of weight of the bodies and inversely to the square of distance.

So I guess to attract one needs to put on weight

My fingers through her hair, she slept soundly on my lap ... my hand holding her ..... the feeling was so pure like fire

That night was so nice -- ---- "eh kash mein hum hosh mein na aaye"

........my fingers through her hair, she slept soundly on my lap ... my hand  holding her ..... the feeling was so pure like fire

and one of those moments when u wished that this would define your life and the dawn may never break and she always slept like this near to me, close to me , be mine , my property

Corporate Lingo

The way the corporate bull shit seeps into people working in the corporates is easily seen in their verbiage.

• People replace the word "problem" with the word "challenge." Recently I heard someone saying The challenge that I faced parking my car is that another car was parked in front of the gate
• The important point to note in the presentation is that we are capturing 70% of the market share ( As if if we did not understand the main points of the whole presentation as it was so covered with bull-shit all around the slides or the language is so vague that we have to be told what is the main point)
• Adaptability is important ( which means we don't know what to do with you so keep moving as we say )
• Lets sit for a meeting ( We don't have anything substantial to give you but still, we would like you to have pity on us and give us something)
• The industry we are operating is a new industry - ( If you don't understand what we are doing or why we are doing don't be flummoxed)
  

Physics

Its funny how Physics is so relevant in our day to day lives and I am not just talking about the laws and the theorems and assumptions but how they are so much in our human lives.

Lets see for example -

1. Static friction is greater than dynamic friction
When you start a new thing or business, its always difficult but once you get a hang of things. It becomes really easy to maneuver

2. Moving uphill is harder than drifting downhill
Do I need to say more, and I am not talking of potential and kinetic energy

Love Story

it was somewhere in the middle of the night , i was as clumsy i am doing some work given by her or she had to do and was figuring out how to do and had no clue about it , nor was i interested in doing that work. The only thing that i was interested in was to look at her sleeping. Out of nowhere she woke up looked at me with those half open eyes, and said " I Love You", and went back to sleep as she didnt even care for my answer. And i mumbled trying to make it to her conscious mind before it drifted back to neveralnd that " I love you too" . I shouldnt have said 'too'. later i realised. But at that time something happened that was unique. which would not happen till the existence of my college and which would not have happened till today.
A dreamy eyes piercing through and those chiseled ornamented lips murmuring the perfect words, a crystal  " I Love you " . Its like diamond. Would be with me forever.

Best Invention Till date, Best Adage Ever, Best to Watch Movies

Best Invention Till date

Airplanes are my best inventions in history. To have a look at the importance and the versatility of airplanes leave us amazed at the awesome invention that planes have been .

The Second World War was won on British airplanes and today all the air strikes make it easier for the infantry to this date. Even the commercial airlines are a boon to the modern form of transportation. Reaching from one part of the worked to another in a couple of hours would never have been possible had it not been the invention of airplanes.

I have so much regards for the Wright brothers that it worth giving them Knighthood

Best Adage Ever

The famous saying that “It will also end” is the proverb that makes me kicked in every time. When I am feeling low then I think that this will also end and gives me hope to hang on to the situation and when I am too happy the same proverb gives me senility that this is a time to be humble and not vain .

The depth and the insight that this 4 worded adage has put many kings and warriors motivated for a very long time. I have kept it hanging on my walls to give me guidance and hope forever.

Best to Watch Movies

When I am bored I watch movies. They are a reflection of the society that the movie depicts. It’s a window to a different culture, dialect and idiosyncrasies of that culture, the beliefs and their traditions. 

Lies lie straight to me

We all have heard that lies is bad. From childhood we are expected to not to tell lies.
As in Forrest Gump its told "A little white lies, aint hurt no one." And that's it. Lies is the new in thing.
See everywhere lies is omnipotent, omnipresent.
The truth may be sparkling white but is sitting in some corner of some dingy house and wishing he could go out like lies do , every day and every night.
Truth may be glowing but few have the courage to look at truth with their eyes. It hurts a lot. Many wish they remain in the shadows , lest truth may burn them. Many embrace truth only to know it was our sweet lies all dressed in white for a costume party.

Online Jobs is the future workplace

Sitting at home and sipping hot coca and then wondering whether should you take a day off or should you work? Finally you decide you want to work for the day. You turn on your system and start working. 2 hours of hard work and then you quickly have a quick bite and spend time with your family. After doing the chores and having a fulsome lunch you go for a siesta, Later you come back to you Study and work for another couple of hours. Would not it be fun if you were the master of your work and were allowed the flexibility that you always yearned for?

Entrepreneur

All it takes is a desire to hold the reins of your future and decide whether you want to utilize your time or spend it on someone else. If you are able to schedule your daily routine and simultaneously carve some time for your kids, family and friends then the only way out is to work for yourself. Be the owner of your destiny.

Have you ever desired to be in control of things? With your office work, kids and family and all those chores flying around, do you ever stop and wish if you could be the master of your destiny and work the way the way you want to, not as per someone else’s wishes. The only way out is to be an entrepreneur and work for yourself at your own leisure.


All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy, but in today’s time we do not have the privilege to take a timeout or do things which entertain us. We are so much involved in the daily grind with a boss sitting over our head that we always wish what if we were the owners of the work we did. The answer to all those wishes is to be an Entrepreneur and start a business of your own.

Exciting Idea

GPRS enabled traffic lights

Quiet many times we have seen that traffic lights are blinking like a mechanical process. In this age when humans have envolved beyond measure, un-intelligent traffic lights seems so obsolete.

I propose traffic light system which get real time data from the cars that are idling on the 

Hit and run cases . All cars to have a self identifying device and other cars can read those signals with a time stamp. So when you are worried who scratched your car when it was in parking or you need not to be worried about any third party insurances and all related trouble. Besides speeding tickets can be issued with greater accuracy

            

a               

A world where all the cars (in a small radius) speak with each other. They capture each other data and they keep a record of it with a time stamp. The data that the cars transmit are very basic and non intrusive like License number, chaise number, Owner's Name, etc.

b

Standing at a crossing waiting for the traffic light to turn green

c

Need addressed - Third party insurance hassles and proof verification. Car theft. Bringing discipline in traffic lights. Saving of fuel. Hit and run addressed to the culprit with proof. If you are on road, you are always on the scanner.

d

A Bluetooth or any mid range device (Wifi) which is capable of transferring and receiving data within a certain range.The cars should transmit their data all the time, even when they are not on ignition.

The data that the cars transmit are very basic and non intrusive like License number, chaise number, Owner name , Owner House address and unique number of the owner like Social Security number in USA or a Personal Account Number (PAN) in India.

There would be a display and a keypad inside the car where data can be fed in to search for a car in vicinity or extracted to get a log of daily activity

e

Performance results -

1. Number of police cases solved using this technology

2. Number of Third party insurance verified using this technlogy

3. Number of thefts resolved using this technology

4. Analyzing the trend in the traffic signals which use this technology to determine the number of vehicles passing and coming up with most optimum time for vehicular movement on a road

6. Customer feedback of people who are using this technology

7. Fuel saved due to dynamic traffic-lights movement

f

Bluetooth technology is reliable in terms of performance. Once the prototype has been worked upon the repeatability can be worked upon.

g

  Suppose you are in the vicinity of your friends home but do not know his exact house number. All you need to do is punch in the identity of the car that your friend owns and the display in the car would tell whether your friend’s car is in vicinity or not. Police can get an alert when They can just get an alert as a felon car approaches

h

There is no similar technology existing. GPRS is a distant second to such a technology.

i

Benefits lead to greater road discipline

Car theft reduction

Location tracker of a friend

Ease to police officials

Railway crossing _ Killing the car engine